Igede people and the custom of forced marriages

By: Dave Ogbole

Every market day, funeral, wedding or any social event that brings people together is a potential ground for a young girls course of life to be altered forever. All of her dreams of going to school, pursuing a career, meeting the love of her life, enjoying a robust fun filled courtship and a wedding of her dream can be sacrificed on the altar of an inimical custom whereby some young men lurking in the shades can sorround her, shoot a Dane gun across her head, rub the gun powder across her chest and immediately abduct her to a secret destination where a friend or fellow man who hired them is waiting, and If the man’s attempt to rape her fails maybe because she is too strong for him, the hit men on standby will come to his aid by holding the girl down for the man to rape.

This detention and rape may continue until the man and allies are sure she is pregnant. Thereafter, the marriage rites are arranged and the lady/victim becomes his wife.

In the event where the gun is shot across her head and she manages to escape the abduction, the forced marriage clause is still binding on her and no other man is allowed her hand in marriage for life.This is the marriage journey of many women in Igede land.

The Igede’s are a group of people in the southern district of Benue State. They are spread across two local governments areas namely Oju and Obi as well as part of cross River state with which they share a boundary. They are predominantly farmers and traders with a lot of well educated elites who are contributing to development in Government, politics, academia and the private sector. They are famous for their rich dances, cuisine and the annual Agba new yam festival.

This custom of forced marriages which has truncated many destinies, robbed many women of the bliss of marriage is still in practice today in their communities because of a cultural allowance made to accommodate it and the lack of will by the elites, legislature and traditional institutions to confront and abolish it.

It must be noted that the psychological damage it does to every woman who is a victim can never be described in words, as it leaves her emotionally scarred, traumatized and perpetually feeling less than her worth .

I am of the opinion that every woman deserves a choice in the personality and character of man she marries. Every lady is a queen in her own right, a daughter, a mother and above all a love creation of God that must be approached, wooed and given the options of exercising her will in favor or disfavor of an official marriage proposal.

This custom therefore keeps every growing girl in a world built by fear, the fear that those young men lurking around in that market area, festival or funeral might have been hired or commissioned by someone whose character or even looks, they cannot stand. That fear that she might one day be added to that dreaded statistics of gunshot, abduction and forced marriage.

As it is with every ugly occurrence of the past, we may not be able to recover past damages to the girl child in Igede land but we can help the next Adiya, ujo, Iyaji and Odu from becoming victims by joining in the conversation, raising the issues to agenda status. Like the killing of twins, female genital mutilation and other barbaric practices, our religious institutions, legislative houses and traditional institutions must rise to the occasion, do the needful and save the Igede girl child from this 21st century slavery.

As I conclude now, I sound a note of warning to any animal and pervert who proberbly benefits from the silent slaughter of the destinies of the girl child, who may be tempted to come on my wall and run his filthy mouth in insults, that I have my verbal and legal arsenals ready to tackle you to the ground. I will spare nothing in hanging you up to the world because I am a father of two beautiful girls and an elder brother of great sisters whose pain I feel deeply and would do anything, and I mean anything to defend their rights and ensure their physical, psychological and emotional safety and wholesome development.

I call on NGO’s, CSO’s and people of goodwill every where to speak up step up and sign up against this pampered monster. Together we can end it and save the next girl