Popular Nigerian actress Kemi Lala Akindoju has ignited a discussion with her views on marriage, childbirth, and the convention of children adopting their father’s surname.
In a recent public statement, Akindoju challenged the tradition of women taking their husband’s surname and the automatic assumption that children will inherit the father’s surname and state of origin. She voiced concerns about how childbirth impacts women and questioned the fairness of their diminished role in naming rights.
Akindoju highlighted a discrepancy between cultural norms and scriptural references that suggest a man should cleave to his wife, challenging the male-centric traditions of marriage.
“Scripture says the man should cleave to the woman (but what do I know). A woman should be allowed to choose whether she wants to change her name or keep it, or even combine it,” Akindoju said.
She also critiqued societal expectations that prompt women to anticipate a change in identity upon marriage, while men are not similarly prepared for changes to their names or identities.
Akindoju wrote, “If we truly want to follow the concept of ‘two shall become one,’ both surnames should be merged. It troubles me that children automatically take the father’s surname and state of origin, and that the father is considered to ‘own’ the child. The woman undergoes a profound life change to bring the child into the world, yet her role is often minimized. I question why a woman must take the man’s name, as scripture actually says the man cleaves to the woman.
“Ultimately, a woman should have the freedom to choose her name or decide if she wants to combine it. It’s puzzling that boys are not raised to expect changes to their identity, while girls are socialized to accept that their name and identity will change. I don’t have all the answers, but I strongly question this practice.”
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