Uzodimma’s satanic verses 

By Ori Martins

Governor Hope Uzodimma is not a Satan. He is not a Devil either. The Imo governor is a human being. And, like every human, he has good and bad sides. Uzodimma’s flaws, in comparison, outweigh his strong points. Most times, his comments, contradictions and general performance can be said to be satanic because they go against the laws of nature and all known relevant established norms.

The nucleus of all Uzodimma’s failings and acrobatic static verses were his emergence as the governor of Imo State. Finishing fourth in the March 9, 2019 governorship election, Uzodimma, in a most satanic fashion, played around the supreme court of Nigeria and the apex court controversially installed him governor on January 14, 2020. The world stood in condemnation of that judgement.

Upon assumption of office in the face of gale of protests, Uzodimma, unmindful of his utterances, recklessly informed his dejected and helpless subjects that he had discovered a condit through which his predecessors milked the state dry. He pledged that upon blocking the leakage, he would be saving the whopping sum of N2b monthly for his dear Imo people.

It is about 26 months since Uzodimma made the above pledge. If you multiply 26 months by N2b monthly, it will be equal to N52b. So, there is N52b in Imo State, yet hunger, starvation, deceases, unemployment, insecurity and collapsed infrastructure continue to confront Imo people on daily basis! If this is true (N52B in Imo ‘s vault), then, it is satanic that the sufferings of Imolites are this humongous. If it is not true, then the governor told a satanic lie even from day one.

And so the governor, unprepared for governance, by his own account and in his own words, confirmed the fear of most Imolites that his emergence was through a static verse, proclaimed it to the rooftop that he became governor using the Ben Johnson formula. Ben Johnson was the highly criminalized 100 and 200 metres athlete who used banned steroids to catapult himself to questionable victory in the 1988 Olympic Games in Los Angeles, USA. Johnson’s speed was electrifying. His comprehensive road to Olympic stardom was highly unimaginable and contradicted every known athletic rule or regulation.

The world athletics governing body was forced to put Johnson’s record to scrutiny and the Canadian came crashing – he cheated. Subsequently, he was banned and his in- glorious medals stripped of him. Today, Johnson is a classic example as well as a reference point to cheating and whatever corruption represents. And this is the man Uzodimma chooses to compare himself with. It was more of a Freudian slip than a slip of tongue. And whichever prism you periscope it, it amounts to a satanic verse.

Probably, nothing establishes Uzodimma’s satanic utterances albeit administrative cluelessness than his well advertised billions of naira rabbit scheme meant to boast agriculture in Imo State. Of course, rabbit is not the mainstay of farmers in the state. It is not a mainstream project. It is foreign to Ndigbo in general and Imo agriculturists in particular. If the governor meant well, if he really wanted to uplift the face of agriculture in the state, using the best of international standard practices, he would have applied the simple method of proximity or locale approach. That is, what are the things common to Imo farmers? And he would have known about poultry, snail, pig, goat, fish, sheep, dog., crop and other forms of farming outlets very beneficial to farmers of this clime. But, you see, because of the governors’ inclination to static verses, he does not seem to practically understand the import of people oriented schemes and projects.

You now do a proper overview of sports in Imo State since the years of Uzodimma. What beholds you is a pathetic situation. The Dan Anyiam Stadium is more or less a play ground as you read this. The Grasshoppers International Handball Pitch has now been abandoned for reptiles of all kinds even as the female handball team, then respected, admired and adored all round the continent of Africa, is now non existent. As Grasshoppers are in ruination, Heartland FC are on a life support machine. The team are among the four clubs to be relegated to the lower division after this season. Under the watch of Uzodimma, the state owned team will go down for the second time in history. The first disaster was supervised by then governor, Senator Rochas Okorocha in 2016. Both Grasshoppers and Heartland were for many seasons Nigerian champions. Grasshoppers were African champions in 1982 and finalists in 1987. Heartland FC were African finalists in 1988 and 2009. But under Uzodimma, both indomitable sides are facing extinction and liquidation. What a tragedy. What a fate. Still elements of Uzodimma’s satanic verses in full operations.

There were civil disobedience in the Orlu Zone of Imo State. Uzodimma, in his capacity as the chief security officer of the state, invited the army for intervention. Ever since then, almost the entire Orlu Zone has never known peace. The question is: what was the rule of engagement given to the army brought to Imo State? Since then, insecurity has been the lot of Imolites. Since then, Imo State is replete with killings and kidnappings of all proportions.

Not quite long ago, the APC presidential candidate, Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu was involved in all meaner of doubts concerning his birthplace, age, education and parental background, as well as state of origin. Nigerians of all walks of life agreed that Senator Tinubu had questions to answer pertaining to his CV. Uzodimma, characteristically, told Nigerians that Tinubu has no question to answer. He fired an eternal salvo to the effect that INEC must be blamed for the former Lagos governor’s faux pas. Another satanic verse.

Just last weekend, Uzodimma came out again with an ugly scripted satanic verse. He called on South East to shun opposition politics if the marginalized zone must ever be taken seriously at the centre. This is an apparent contradiction. To start with, in 2003 when Uzodimma first contested governorship election, he did so on the platform of AD, a party in opposition both in the state as well as the centre. Two, in 2015, the APC he is now serving and supporting, was an opposition party at the federal level. Yet, it won the 2015 general elections, including sacking an serving ruling PDP president. Besides, the late Dr Sam Mbakwe was in opposition with his NPP when he achieved all grand accomplishments ascribed to him as the governor of the old Imo State.

Uzodimma’s satanic verses cannot be measured in lines or sonnet to that of Salman Rushdie who was the first author of the Satanic Verses. Yet, Rushdie was exiled for life to the United States. You can you beat that?