Opinion: Defending a wife beater because he speaks your language is primitive reasoning

According to Lucky Dube, “not every black man is my friend. Not every white man is my enemy.”

Many of my Idoma brothers and sisters shocked me by jumping to side with Pius Angbo, the Channels’ TV guy who allegedly battered his medical doctor wife not long after she gave birth to a baby through CS.

They sadly sided with him because he is their “tribal guy.” Just like that. They would have been mad at him and sided with his abused wife if there were to be a reversal of tribes. That is, if the wife were to be Idoma and the wife beater Igbo, their activism would have been awoken.

Wife beaters have only one tribe: violence against their wives. They always find a reason to beat their wives. When happy, angry, idle, excited or under pressure. They are cowards who never stop until they kill.

The best way to always look at this kind of issue is to imagine that the victim is your mother, sister or daughter.

My advice to battered women who have come to me, to share their experiences on my now rested talk show, Idaago has always been simple:If he has beaten you more than once, he will do it again. Train yourself in self defence or run. Else you will die.

I have seen women maimed by their partners who were convinced to remain in abusive relationships because their families didn’t want shame. “Stay because of your children. Stay to prevent our family from turning into a laughing stock.” Etc. Until he kills her. It is the same with ladies who have abusive boyfriends. They erroneously believe that the beating will stop when they get married. Wrong! It will only get worse. They beating is for control and for deriving sadistic pleasure.

When women complain of beating, don’t be rationalising. “What did she do? She must have pushed him!” Sharap dia! No pushing should make you hit your wife. You can go out and drink a bottle. I refuse to join your Idoma solidarity. If you ever hear that I beat my wife, don’t “support” me. Strong men are not cowards who hit women. They RUN AWAY from the temptation to hit them.